Saturday, 6 June 2015

Stop the rant, the corrupt cabinet Members were given 60 days leave to take their girlfriends out, play golf.

It does not matter the amount of PR stunts the president will pull around corruption issues or the extent to which the opposition will make a meal out of any corruption scum in the government. Not even your cry as a citizen makes a difference, as Prof. PLO Lumumba would say it, “You simply are not corrupt because you lack the opportunity to do so”.

If I was to set a twitter trend “it’s only in Kenya where…” trust me 99.9% would be the ugly only satirized or wittingly and comically articulated to reduce the sting. The remainder, 0.11% would be the good and off course the obvious as would be expected from the hopefuls and the less creative.

  • You simply are not corrupt because you lack the opportunity to do so.
  • These days it is the reverse. The worker pays the employer
  • How will a secretary in the office of an assistant chief ever be in charge of government funds? Will he steal money allocated for 2 Biro pens to woo his girlfriend?
  • The president gave few of his cabinet secretaries some 60 days off with complete entitlements so they can play golf and take their mistresses out to Istanbul.

Well, last week I report an assault and vandalism case at a Police station in my neighborhood and the first thing they ask me after recording my statement is “supper” to ensure the suspect is brought to book immediately. As if that’s not enough, the short, fat and rotund corporal asks me to… wait he is short! I thought to be a police officer in Kenya one needs to have a minimum height of 5’6’’. Pardon my obtrusive self objection, he asks me to: “toa kambuzi na huyu jamaa atalala ndani hadi kesho jioni ndio tuone maneno yake.” (Offer some goat and we will have the suspect spend a night in the cells and only listen to him tomorrow evening).

So I drive off to photocopy a P3 form and pack by the nearby cyber café. This guard provides unsolicited aid to ensure I pack with ease and immediately I edge my bottoms to get out of the car he goes like, Halafu sasa? Loosely translated as, what next. His thumb was rubbing against the middle finger.  You know what that means. I curled my lips into a downward snarl, gave a loud click and headed to the cyber café. As if he works there for free.

Exit the cyber, enter the hospital. “hapa, fanya tu maneno, nitakuwekea weakened teeth, ruptured eardrum, na internal bleedings above the actual injuries,” Said the Doctor. I have been assaulted and my house and property vandalized. What do I do?  I need justice.

So, at home, I tell the Flat caretaker to Liaise with Njugush, the guy who fixes the window panes and give me a quotation. He hands it over to me in 30 minutes. That was fast. We have a really good caretaker. I do a thorough scrutiny the next day and discover the cost has been inflated to a tune of Ksh. 3,200.

It’s not long and my younger sister, a very hardworking campus student, Calls me to send her some money. "What for?" I ask. “Bro, they need Ksh. 7,000 per month for me to be an intern with this organization.”I am blown out of the water. I thought it’s the intern to be paid for services rendered or at least an allowance to meet one's expenses. These days it is the reverse. The worker pays the employer! Enough said.

Its 9 pm. time for news and all our local channels are still awash with which cabinet secretary is clean and whatnots as the corruption purge hits the country. I listen to the voxpops and can’t help sympathizing with this less informed citizen who thinks the government has cracked the whip on corruption and so all his problems might just end. The other one at his highest stretch of thoughts believes it is because of Kazungu Kambi’s corruption that he has not been able to marry. He could be right though, How will a secretary in the office of an assistant chief ever be in charge of government funds to steal a bit of something? Will he steal money allocated for 2 Biro pens to woo his girlfriend? Sorry.

The opportunity is lacking, so you are clean. As the former Kenyan prime minister, Raila Odinga would put it, “mweupe kama Pamba” (as white as cotton).  Therefore, why do you rant about the president's move to give a few of his most valued employees (cabinet secretaries) some 60 days off with complete entitlements so they can play golf and take their mistresses out to Istanbul? Look, this was a 60 day leave for those who have just made enough to party. So stop the scorn.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau well articulated it, “We are good by Nature but Corrupted by Society.”  At home when you want to serve those entire drum sticks to your plate you think you are not corrupt? We all are corrupt within our spheres in pro rata basis.

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