It does not matter the amount of PR
stunts the president will pull around corruption issues or the extent to which
the opposition will make a meal out of any corruption scum in the government. Not
even your cry as a citizen makes a difference, as Prof. PLO Lumumba would say
it, “You simply are not corrupt because you lack the opportunity to do so”.
If I was to set a twitter trend “it’s only in Kenya where…” trust me 99.9% would be the ugly only satirized
or wittingly and comically articulated to reduce the sting. The remainder,
0.11% would be the good and off course the obvious as would be expected from
the hopefuls and the less creative.
- You simply are not corrupt because you lack the opportunity to do so.
- These days it is the reverse. The worker pays the employer
- How will a secretary in the office of an assistant chief ever be in charge of government funds? Will he steal money allocated for 2 Biro pens to woo his girlfriend?
- The president gave few of his cabinet secretaries some 60 days off with complete entitlements so they can play golf and take their mistresses out to Istanbul.
Well, last week I report an assault
and vandalism case at a Police station in my neighborhood and the first thing
they ask me after recording my statement is “supper” to ensure the suspect is brought
to book immediately. As if that’s not enough, the short, fat and rotund corporal
asks me to… wait he is short! I thought to be a police officer in Kenya one
needs to have a minimum height of 5’6’’. Pardon my obtrusive self objection, he
asks me to: “toa kambuzi na huyu jamaa
atalala ndani hadi kesho jioni ndio tuone maneno yake.” (Offer some goat
and we will have the suspect spend a night in the cells and only listen to him
tomorrow evening).
So I drive off to photocopy a P3 form
and pack by the nearby cyber café. This guard provides unsolicited aid to
ensure I pack with ease and immediately I edge my bottoms to get out of the car
he goes like, Halafu sasa? Loosely translated
as, what next. His thumb was rubbing against the middle finger. You know what that means. I curled my lips
into a downward snarl, gave a loud click and headed to the cyber café. As if he
works there for free.
Exit the cyber, enter the hospital.
“hapa, fanya tu maneno, nitakuwekea
weakened teeth, ruptured eardrum, na internal bleedings above the actual
injuries,” Said the Doctor. I have been assaulted and my house and property vandalized.
What do I do? I need justice.
So, at home, I tell the Flat caretaker
to Liaise with Njugush, the guy who fixes the window panes and give me a
quotation. He hands it over to me in 30 minutes. That was fast. We have a
really good caretaker. I do a thorough scrutiny the next day and discover the
cost has been inflated to a tune of Ksh. 3,200.
It’s not long and my younger
sister, a very hardworking campus student, Calls me to send her some money. "What
for?" I ask. “Bro, they need Ksh. 7,000 per month for me to be an intern with
this organization.”I am blown out of the water. I thought it’s the intern to be
paid for services rendered or at least an allowance to meet one's expenses. These
days it is the reverse. The worker pays the employer! Enough said.
Its 9 pm. time for news and all our
local channels are still awash with which cabinet secretary is clean and whatnots
as the corruption purge hits the country. I listen to the voxpops and can’t
help sympathizing with this less informed citizen who thinks the government has
cracked the whip on corruption and so all his problems might just end. The other
one at his highest stretch of thoughts believes it is because of Kazungu Kambi’s
corruption that he has not been able to marry. He could be right though, How
will a secretary in the office of an assistant chief ever be in charge of government
funds to steal a bit of something? Will he steal money allocated for 2 Biro pens to woo his girlfriend? Sorry.
The opportunity is lacking, so you
are clean. As the former Kenyan prime minister, Raila Odinga would put it, “mweupe kama Pamba” (as white as cotton). Therefore, why do you rant
about the president's move to give a few of his most valued employees (cabinet secretaries)
some 60 days off with complete entitlements so they can play golf and take
their mistresses out to Istanbul? Look, this was a 60 day leave for those who
have just made enough to party. So stop the scorn.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau well articulated it, “We are good
by Nature but Corrupted by Society.” At home
when you want to serve those entire drum sticks to your plate you think you are
not corrupt? We all are corrupt within our spheres in pro rata basis.
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