In Kenya Comings and Goings a Movie in Real Life

“I have to laud Mr. Ole Lenku, the movie Director his choices of characters were just amazing.”

If there is anything that Kenyans love and hate in equal measure, then its politics. Kenyan politics is filled with antics and dramas that once I had a radio personality in one of our local stations cheer them up for the greatest of movie series. True to his words, one does not need to watch 'game of thrones' or 'pompei'. The series addicts who would spend all day and night glued on their T.V sets like they are being paid to do so know it well that sometimes Kenya offers greater theatrics in reality way better than the fictious movies. If you doubt let’s do a bet and watch your News tonight, I might just become a millionaire and stop writing this stories.

At one moment its Hon. Duale … wait is it honorable or horrible? Yes, horrible Duale hurling insults at Governor Rutto making sure it gets under the latter’s skin by using ‘it’s not your mothers’ mantra. Another time it’s Youths of Migori hurling their old shoes and ‘empty wallets’ to the president just for him to see how broke they are. Before you can heal from this shocker, the former prime minister, Raila and his ally governor Sammy Mvuria  are being whipped senseless at the climax of a Sengenya Dance. Where on earth does this happen especially in the full glare of VIP security?

Well, if you find that so amusing, wait until you watch another episode of 'sonko at the Hague'.  A suspenseful story of a melodramatic Kenyan politician whose political theatrics is characterized with bighead antics. He is a good chase player who knows how to capture the audience’s attention. I vividly remember the Swahili phrase on his t-shirt; taka taka nyinyi ghasia. How the Odiero’s get fooled at the meaning of this on Google translation. I did check and trust me it’s astounding. It goes like, want want you nonsense. So basically Sonko is in dire need for nonsense! I will not speak about wall punching and reeling on the roads like a child so gaga about swimming.  A dedication song, I am bad by Michael Jackson does fit the Nairobi Senator perfect.

I know I will not be forgiven if I fail to recap the episode of 'Sonko Vs Mutoko in a Smack down'. Always, laughter is good for the heart and this guy surely gives it at the right time in good doses. Come to remember that call from a radio station, Kiss 100 it was. The no nonsense Lady Caroline Mutoko, she is not new to controversy but this one just landed on her wrong. Imagine being called a hoe on your own radio show? Quite disturbing but I have to laud her for how she handled the fiasco.

Enough of Sonko, Enter the Governor of Nairobi himself, Dr. Evans Kidero. A very calm guy he appears but he is like fire. Get too close and he will leave you ablaze. One spectacular show, that only one person can narrate to you best. The once upon a time Nairobi chatter box, er… I mean Manzi wa Nai. Shebesh she is, in the only episode that gives an award winning gubernatorial slap in 3 dimensions.  Get a surround system home theatre and you will enjoy the loud bawling that follows the slap. Dj Afro can do it justice by commentating.

I now need some intro tune indicating a looming trepidation because the next episode is just an inch short of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movies. The setting is quite unlikely for staging that kind of a show. But hay! It happened. I am talking about Makueni County Bizzare Shoot out. It was politicians and bodyguards competing as to whose gun aims best. I watched this in disbelief but soon came alive to it. Like the Vietnam soldiers get there varying commands, this was much akin, they too did. “Uwa! Piga! “. Apparently for me this is what authenticated the movie. Its Kenyan.

All ears attentive here; “mchezo ya danganya toto jinga ikaanza”. Alluding to the kid’s song Mohamed Ali commentates best on it. ‘The Great Loot in West Gate’ it titles.  How interesting it looks. Well scripted to bring comic. I have to laud Mr. Ole Lenku, the movie Director. His choices of characters were just amazing. And as for the ‘water’ his boys were carrying in the Nakumatt labeled polythene bags, its life they need it. Or isn’t it so?

This series thematically presents characters of all sorts in Kenya, ranging from politics, to religion. And talking of religion, knowing your Bible and at least some form 2 level chemistry can make you a fortune. Was that the moral? Two prefixes to ones name work the trick in this episode. Prophet and Doctor; the former to grant a deceptive status of direct communication with God and the latter to remind the flock that indeed one was is of a higher cadre of prophets. Well brought out by use of a character, Kanyari, a man who just didn’t learn about Potassium Permanganate in form 2 but applied its use incredibly.

Season 6 still airs and with Nairobi MCAs taking the lead as they eject Hon. Lang’at from Orange house. A section of touts are trying to still the show by ‘helping a woman get necked’ and Nderitu Njoka ranting about hundreds of Men dismembered and leading a sex strike movement against women. How interesting this season gets. My dress my choice demonstration is just completed, as we wait for more aren’t we lucky to be Kenyans?